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Sunday, July 21, 2013

September 10th 2011

dear monster bug.....

today has been emotional and i realized some things. I cant think about you no longer being here. It hurts too much to bear. i dont want to admit that you are gone. I am shattered inside and feel completely lost and surrounded by only the dark and the pain. I feel im going in circles with no sense of direction and have no idea what is up and what is down. i just want to be able to reach out my hand and once again feel your soft skin on my fingertips. This pain inside is so hard to live with and i have to pretend everything is ok just to make it through the day.

Please know that i am always thinking about you even when im not talkin about you. It hurts to talk about you still. I try to as much as i can but sometimes its just too overwhelming and i break down at the sound of your name. I cant get the image of you out of my head from the hospital.... That was the hardest day of my life!!!! Monster bug im falling apart inside. I feel like im going crazy and no one understands that i have to stay strong for those around me. I dont everyone to see me truly fall apart. I have to hold the family together and i hope you understand how much i truly love you even when i cant bring myself to talk about you to random people. I love you from the bottom of my soul and i always will....I just wish you were in my arms again

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