Journal Entry #3 July 11th 2011

I miss you so much! And ive been having really bad anxiety attacks lately…I slept with your monkey blanket the other night and pretended it was you. I wished and prayed with all my heart that is was you and that you were once again sleeping on my chest. I wanted to feel your heart beat against mine and listen you every breathe you took. I would never wish this pain on anyone. I had so much hope for you. I wanted to watch you grow and laugh and smile. I wanted you to make friends and see all the good the world has. Even with all the bad in this world there is still good. There are good people and the connections we make in life is what its all about. I wanted you to experience all of that good. I wanted you to get the chance to see all of the people who truly love and care about you. I wish you could of  had a chance to see all the love and kindness that is out there. I miss you with all my heart. I cant write much today because I have to go to work soon but I promise ill write you more tomorrow… I love you monster bug thank you for being apart of my life my heart and my soul!!!!