Journal Entry #2 July 5th 2011

Today is going to be my first day back at work. Im scared im not going to be strong enough to keep myself together and not break down and cry while im there. The past two days have been very hard for your dad and I. There is so much pain in his eyes it breaks my heart. We miss you so much and wish that you were still physically here with us. Yesterday would have been your first 4th of july and we would of gone over to your aunt Keshia’s and had a BBQ and watched the fireworks. It was too much for your dad and I to go so we just stayed home and watched tv to try to get our minds off of everything. The pain I feel is so deep in my heart it hurts just to see another baby that would have been your age. Your grandpa made me so proud at your funeral. He did an amazing job with the sermon. I promise you my little monster bug that I will never ever ever forget you and all the joy you brought to my life in the short time you were with me. I love you more than words can express and I only wish I would of got to see you grow. I sit and wonder what you would look like at 1 year or 10 years or on your wedding day. You would have been the most handsome man ever. Eddy I miss you so so so much and I only hope you realize what a true blessing you were to everyone who knew you. You will forever live in my heart sweet baby boy. Oh yeah and I get to go pick up my ring tomorrow which makes me so happy. That way I will always have a piece of you with me at all times no matter where I go. Thank you for being such a blessing in my life. You are and always will be the light of my life. Love always and forever

   Your mommy