A million times I've thought,
About his precious smile.
A million times I wished he was here,
If only for a little while …
A million times I've tried,
To hold my head up high,
And a million times, through tears,
I've asked my loving God … Why?
Why did it have to be my son?
Why do I live with this heart ache so deep?
Why was his life so suddenly done?
Why do I now sit here and weep?
A million times I've thought about him,
A million times I've pleaded for him back,
A million times picturing his light now dim,
And a million times I've wanted life back on track.
Why did I have to see him there,
His little body so quiet and cold?
Why did that have to be
The last memory of my boy that I hold?
Why, God, Why did it have to be this way?
A million times I've only wanted him back …
Why, oh why, couldn’t my son just stay?
Now, a million times my world has turned black.
Why dear God, why
Did it have to be him?
Why do I have to feel inside
Like I've lost a missing limb?
Why was he here with us
For such a short and wonderful time?
Why is this grief and excruciating
Pain and sorrow now mine?
A million times I prayed,
And asked you for the reason,
And a million times you’ve told me, God,
That in this life there are seasons.
A million times I've hit my knees,
And asked You why, God, why?
The words "A Million Times"
Was always your reply …
“A million little smiles
For you to love and cherish,”
From the day you gave him to me,
He was meant to share, then perish.
“My plan for your angel
Was never for him to stay …
But to touch a million lives
In a very special way.
“So never forget the timeless love
That with every smile, he gave …
And ride it to the safety of shore
Like a storm-tossed, incoming wave.
“He was meant for so much more …
So remember, when you ask me "Why?"
That he touched your soul at the very core,
But he was always meant to grow wings and fly.
“You were blessed a million times,
With his beauty and smile so pure,
And his love for you is strong enough
To get you through all the pain you must endure.
“A million little things he left,
Behind, for you to hold …
So spread his love around the world,
And let his shooting star story be told.
“So ask Me not the question ‘Why?’ …
The answers will all be known one day,
And until that glorious reunion,
Alive in your heart, he shall stay.
“Rest at ease, my child,
And know he guides your way.
With a million little signs and kisses,
Throughout your lifetime, every day.”
© 2012 Heather Grein
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