July 15th 2011

Journal Entry 8 july 15th 2011

Baby boy I woke up at 3pm today filled with so much sadness. I grabbed you favorite monkey blanket and cuddled with it while I cried. I miss you so so much and it hurts. I wish you were here to smile and make me feel so much better. I miss your smell. I know that sounds weird but I do. I miss the way you would look up at me and smile, the way you would hold tightly to my shirt when you would nurse or just be in my arms. I miss being able to brush your bald little head of hair. I miss everything about you!! This is the hardest most painful thing ive ever had to go through. Please help me through this. I love you with everything I have.

 I found out that my work will sponsor the team im putting together for the tears foundations rock n walk. Once I do 25 hours of service I fill out an application and they send them a check to sponsor us. They will do it 5 times a year for any charity I chose. That makes me feel better. We are going to walk in your memory. I am going to join their guardian angel club to and donate $10 a month to help other families.

Monster bug, im doing all I can to keep your memory and spirit alive. You brought so much to my life and I want to do all I can to bring your bright spirit to everyone else too. You were such an amazing baby boy and I am so proud to be your mommy. I love you through eternity and back.

Your aunt sharmell and monica are going to do a scrap book party with me soon so we can make a scrap book full of your great memories and smiles. I cant wait.  It will be fun!

I have to get ready for work though monster bug, I will write you more later. I love you for all of eternity

Love

   Your mommy