You Say Im Strong

You say I’m strong,

But I struggle every day,

I carry on holding my head up high,

Just trying to find my way.

You say I’m strong,

But I’m shattered inside –

The depth of my pain has no limits.

Since the day my baby died.

You say I’m strong,

When I have no choice but to carry on;

You see, I walk a different path,

Now that my baby boy is gone.

Still, you say I’m strong.

While I see the meaning beyond the sound,

I still walk through darkness every day,

Looking for the light that can’t be found.

You say I’m strong,

But you know I’m only me –

I hold on tightly to my hope,

Though darkness is all I see.

You say I’m strong,

And gain strength every minute of the day.

One day maybe I’ll look back and see -

Through it all, I still found my way.

You always say I’m strong,

And I guess it could be true…

Although I may not always feel it,

I just wanted to thank you.

For you’re the one who spoke the words

And gave me a glimpse of the light -

You stood strong, right by my side,

And helped me through the darkness of night.

Because of you, I’ve come to know,

Much more than just my strength,

I’ve realized that a mother’s heart,

Will love and go on, at any length.

You say I’m strong,

And I thank you for it all,

You always helped me get back up,

When all I could do was fall.

You said I was strong.

You held out your hand.

Your words will forever echo…

"I’ll be here to catch you as you land."

For it seems that I AM strong,

And I carry this strength within my heart –

And now I see this is why you told me,

I was strong, from the very start.

© 2013 Heather Grein

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This is dedicated to one of my best friends who has always been there for me and that i love and care for so much... Thank you girl for always being you

An Open Feild of Sorrow

An open field of sorrow…

   Leaves that blow

      Like the tears that fall,

Empty branches reaching for air,

   Searching for light

      To find a way through it all.

Trees unable to breathe -

   The pressure of grief

      Pressing down on their leaves

Yet empty inside,

   With aching hollowness

      Our companion as we grieve.

In this open field of sorrow

   Questions go unanswered

      In the stillness of the night,

Like a clock without hands.

   The minutes stand still –

      No end of pain in sight.

Tree branches, once so full of life,

   Lie empty as the pain sweeps

      Blindly through them like tears

What’s left behind is now

   An empty field of sorrow,

      And an echo of their fears.

At the breaking of the dawn

   A tiny glimpse of light

      Reaches down upon the soul

Bringing light, restoring hope

   That this torn and shattered life,

      Might one day again be whole.

Deep inside, the truth is known,

   That whatever tomorrow brings,

      One small branch will never again grow -

Forever changed and silent it lies

   Even when the other branches

      Begin to stir and then beautifully flow.

Its time of growth has ended,

   It has shed its mortal bonds,

      And left a scar, forever to show...

Its spirit blooms so brightly,

   But its remains become the soil

      In which the others thrive and grow.

Now that the sun is bright and warm,

   And the new leaves grow rich and green

      Here, in this open field of sorrow,

The pain still exists,  

   And the hollowness inside,

      For there was no time left to borrow.

The day our baby boy went home,

   Heaven gained an angel,

      But left behind our broken hearts.

His love is missed by all,

   And still no answers come,

      Why did we have to part?

For my baby boy, the angel,

   My memories are what I keep,

      As I walk gently through my field of sorrow;

Each night I cry my silent tears,

   And pray for strength each day,

      To make it until each tomorrow.

© 2013 Heather Grein

He's Gone

Shock fills me and I cannot comprehend
     the words which are spoken …
Disoriented and numb –
     my heart completely broken.

Trembling from within,
     I fall limply to the floor,
Screaming “No!” and uncontrollably crying,
     they help me to the door.

Lost in a nightmare as I hold my baby boy,
     I gently kiss his cold little lips,
So scared and broken inside,
     my heart feels completely ripped …

They wrap me in warm blankets,
     trying to comfort me from the cold,
The empty words “It will be ok”
     are all that I am told.

My nightmare is now real life,
     with no end of pain in sight,
They tried so hard to save him,
     but in the end, they lost the fight.

As I say goodbye, my life turns grey
     just like his sweet little face;
Then I’m walking beside those I love
     trying desperately to just keep pace.

Forever changed inside,
     from that one heart-breaking day -
That day I lost my baby,
     now I struggle to find my way.

I just keep going, one step at a time,
     it’s all that I can manage.
The pain in my soul is so intense,
     but all I have is love’s bandage.

This is the tragic story,
     of how I lost my precious little son,
And one thing that I’ve learned,
     is a grieving mother’s journey is never done …

© 2013 Heather Grein

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